In Middle School, we strive to not only equip students with the skills and tools needed to navigate 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, but also to prepare them to transition and be successful in high school and beyond. Though the middle school years can be challenging and sometimes messy, we walk alongside our families to foster the development of the whole child. By 8th grade our students possess the necessary academic skills and character traits to soar onto their next adventure.
Recently, our Middle School Guidance Counselor, Lisa Butera, and Head of Middle School, Amy Vernon, met with parents to discuss the Middle School years. Parents were offered a roadmap to common middle school challenges, as well as tips to empower their pre-teen children. Two alumni parents spoke about their experience in the HCES Middle School program. Below is a brief overview of the tips shared.
We hope you will consider joining us for our next talk “High School Preparation and Transition: An Overview of Timeframes, Guidelines, and Procedures” to be held on November 6th.
Tips for Empowering Your Child*
- Give your child the power of a positive attitude
- Be conscious & reflective regarding how you speak about the world
- What type of mirror do you want to provide them? Strive for optimistic & confident.
- Instill beliefs and systems that work and make sense
- Truly examine your beliefs & systems – is failure okay?
- Do your goals/actions reflect your beliefs? Are they realistic?
- Include your child in the process of decision making
- Degree depends on the situation – define the boundaries; your child’s “box” may get messy
- Promotes communication, trust, and confidence
- Gives your child the opportunity to learn from mistakes
- Accept and nurture honesty
- Calm, open, constructive – teach through your words & actions that it’s okay to tell you the truth
- Gives your child the opportunity to learn from mistakes
- Recognize the journey, not just the destination
- Focus on process, not necessarily product – I love how hard you worked vs I love that you got an A
- Gives your child the opportunity to learn from mistakes
The importance of recognizing the journey and not simply the end result is highlighted in the below video. Carol Dweck’s study shows the impact praise has on children’s development. But be careful; how the praise is framed is critically important! Intelligence vs Effort … which will win?
Common Middle School Challenges (parent challenge – incorporate the above tips)
- Struggles on tests or quizzes
- Review assessment; compare to notes/homework/study material
- Where’s the breakdown? (materials, preparation, mastery, test taking skills)
- Develop a plan
- Lack of organization
- Is it truly a problem? (developmental vs detrimental)
- If so, is it lack of systems or implementation? Child must buy in!
- Meltdowns (everything’s horrible)
- Allow time to vent (listen), then regroup. Is there a core issue or many smaller issues?
- Ask if they are going work through it on their own or do they need help? Don’t automatically problem solve for them – opportunity to empower them.
*Adapted from Coste, B. 10 Powerful Parenting Tips – How to Give Your Child Empowerment. Retrieved from http://www.positive-parenting-ally.com
